


Down the Dwarrow Hole- An Adventure In Middle Earth

by BigMamaMaybelle



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Cultural Differences, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:06:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21537169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigMamaMaybelle/pseuds/BigMamaMaybelle
Summary: The reader falls into Middle Earth and on to Thorin Oakenshield. Only to be mistaken for a man instead of a woman, and she is not thrilled. Bilbo is the only one in the group who realizes it and doesn't tell anyone, Thorin is not pleased when he finds out.
Relationships: Thorin Oakenshield/Original Female Character(s), Thorin Oakenshield/Reader
Comments: 53
Kudos: 154





	1. Do I look like a man to you?...I'm your what now?

I snarled as I stumbled for what felt like the hundredth time today under the weight of the cloth rucksack the company had scrounged up for me. I cursed creatively under my breath, mostly in Japanese, at least the few words I knew made for some pretty funny expletives, and since none of the Dwarves in the company of Thorin Oakenshield had even heard of Japan, they had no idea that the jumble of Japanese that they assumed was curses that would make a Dwarf proud, was really a complaint about ramen noodles not being cooked right, or observations about the weather. 

I hefted the bag further up my shoulders, wishing my own backpack wasn't still at home with my cell phone and computer and kindle. I had plopped into this world and into Thorin's company with a resounding splash, and by his company, I mean I fell on the uppity prig's head while he was bathing in the river, nearly drowning the King under the Mountain in front of his nephews and cousins. I grimace as something rock hard shifts in my pack and digs into my lower back. That definitely did not belong there. 

Bilbo was watching me closely as I trekked after the group. Walking up to him I leaned in. “I take it we're having stone soup tonight?” I hissed lowly to him, he raised an eyebrow and frowned.

“What?” The hobbit squeaked. His face flushing slightly as I leaned in closer.

“There are rocks in my bag Mr. Baggins.” I growled, shifting the pack again, letting the stones shift. “A bakers dozen from the feel of it. One for each Dwarf in the company.” He looks kind of like a deer caught in the head lights and stumbles as he tries to keep his eyes on me and keep walking. My hand shoots out and grabs his arm, yanking him toward me as he nearly walks face first into a tree wider than most of the Dwarves in the company. 

“Thank you.” He mumbles as I let go of his bicep and smooth down the creases in his sleeve made by my hand. 

“Did you put them in?” I asked as we started weaving through the trees, the dwarves were ahead of us but not by too much. It seemed that Bilbo was refusing to leave me behind, and that stopped the Dwarves from leaving me in the dust. 

“Certainly not!” He scoffed. “Though it was perhaps...my solution to how they wished to punish you.” 

“For what?” I hissed lowly. “I have done nothing wrong.” 

“Except nearly drowning their king.” He bit back.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and exhaled. “I had no control of that, Bilbo Baggins, how many times must I bloody well say it?” Shaking my head, I growled. “Very well, seems I'm at a point where I have to make a choice.” 

“A choice?” He asked as we sped up at the sound of Thorin's yell for Bilbo to catch up.

“Yes, weather to take the high road or the low road...” I answered.

“You have such strange sayings.” He huffed as we started jogging. I carefully matched his pace, settling in to a easy stride that allowed me to run abreast of him and not reach the angry King first, but not force the hobbit to sprint head long to prevent the same thing. “And what would be the high and low roads?” 

“Its an expression, but I'll clue you in, putting a dozen stones in the bag of an injured woman with a bruised back is the LOW one.” I growled as we neared the group that had stopped for a break. I knew from everyone's expression that I wouldn't get a single morsel. Just because Bilbo wouldn't leave me behind didn't mean that the company was going to feed me. I wasn't to eat until supper, if Thorin deemed me worthy. I decided I was going to take the high road, well, maybe the middle road. I wasn't going to be a bitch back to these males, but I would mess with them a bit as I went through the day. My screwed up back be damned. 

They didn't realize that even with the dang rocks, the pack was still lighter than what I would hiked with back home on Earth. My pack sometimes weighed close to fifty plus pounds since I was usually the Bombur of the group, and boy did I like my carrots, onions and potatoes on my trips. I didn't bother sitting down, for there would also be no help rising from the ground, so I stood next to Bilbo, who sat next to me on the grass, silently waiting as the dwarves stuffed their gobs. I nudged the hobbit with my foot, brushing the side of my hiking boot against his hip since he was curled into a ball.

“You should Eat, Mr. Baggins.” I whispered when he met my eyes.

“I'm fine...” He tried to defend, blushing as his stomach growled. 

“Detarame!” I snap, not caring that this time I actually used a true expletive. “I am well aware of your disapproval to females skipping meals, Mr. Baggins, but even back home I do not eat during every break on the trail, and even if I did, as the Eldest Child and a female, I eat LAST.” I cross my arms. “So Eat, and worry not for me.” 

“Female?” Thorin growled, eyes flashing in my direction. I quirked an eyebrow, my right hand moving to my hip as I motioned to Bilbo with my left. 

“Aye, don't tell me that Mr. Baggins is the only one of this group to realize that the heavyset human that landed on the King under the Mountain was a WOMAN!” I snapped, from the horrified looks on their faces, they had no bloody idea. They all stood and sat looking like gaping fish, well most of them, Thorin's eyes were slightly wider, but his mouth was closed, as were Fili and Balin's, Dwalin and Kili's jaws were hanging almost as low as the Ri's and Ur's and I snorted at Gloin's horrified expression, probably imagining what his totally awesome wife would do to him if she ever caught wind of the lack of care I had received after my fall and the rocks in my pack, that he most likely contributed to. 

“You let us shun a woman, Mr. Baggins?” Thorin growled, his eyes flashing to the hobbit next to me. I immediately moved to stand in front of him, blocking him from Thorin's sharp gaze.

“Oh Back Off Thorin Oakenshield!” I snapped, really angry now, they assumed I was a man, a fat, weak man. “He didn't LET YOU do anything! The only thing he's done is stick by my side like a good Male would!” 

“Not quite.” Bilbo grumbled, standing behind me. “A good Male wouldn't of let them weigh your pack with heavy stones, he would of taken the burden for you.” 

I stiffened, my eyes meeting his. “Judging by their reactions to my gender, your actions kept me safe, Bilbo Baggins.” I growled, the whole company stiffened, and I glared. 

“We should remove the stones from her bag, Thorin.” Balin suggested, his eyes still wide in mortification. 

“And she'll need a proper garb, it is unseemly for a Lady to be wearing trousers.” Dori said, his voice practically screeching on the last word.

“We should make camp early at the closest river or stream.” Fili said to his Uncle. “Let her bathe and change...” He paused, watching me as I glared at Dori. “And while I agree with Dori on the changing, perhaps she would prefer breeches and tunic?” I noticed him motioning to me as he elbowed his Uncle gently. I met Fili's eyes and smirked causing Thorin to growl. 

“He's right about that, Thorin.” I said with a huff. “I'm in the middle of no where surrounded by at least a dozen unmarried Males and who knows how many enemies.” I crossed my arms again. “I refuse to wear anything that can hinder my escape or combat abilities, forget not wearing something that allows my enemies easy access.” Oh, they did NOT like that comment. But before an argument could bloom, Gandalf stepped in, ruddy wizard had been lurking in the shadows watching.

“Now, now, that's quite enough of that!” He scolded, as he strode forward and placed himself between the me and the company, Bilbo still stood behind me. “The realm she comes from isn't any safer than this one Thorin. Do not allow your men to take offense to her survival knowledge.” 

I watched as most of the Dwarves relaxed a bit, but Dori was glaring at the wizard. “It is not proper.” 

“Actually, where I come from this is totally modest.” I add from behind Gandalf. “Well, minus the holes and tears.” I paused as they all eyed me. “And I won't object to longer shirts over my...” I searched for the right word, finally I just gave up and grabbed the leg of my pants and motioned to them. “In fact I used to wear shorts and even short skirts over these since I was never pretty or confidant enough to wear them without them.” Bilbo snorted and I rolled my eyes. “Of course even if I had been, I wouldn't of gotten away with it. My mother is a very intimidating woman, and under-aged women should not advertise for what they are unwilling or unable to give.” 

“A Lady should never advertise!” Dori scolded, his face red with anger. “She should let her Adad or the head of her Clan find her a suitable husband as is proper!” 

“Oh wonderful!” I snapped with a roll of my eyes. I turned to Bilbo. “What fresh hell is this? You should of made me keep my sex a secret if that is how things are done around here!” 

“You do not have to worry about that, Miss Drake.” Gandalf said softly. “According to common law, you already have a husband.” 

I stiffened and turned my head to glare at him. “Choose your next words carefully, Elder, for you tread on dangerous ground.” He just quirked an eyebrow and pulled out his pipe. 

“According to the law, when you landed on one of the Dwarves, you became his the moment he refused to allow the others to kill you.” Gandalf explained, packing Ol' Tobi in his pipe. “If he decides he does not want you, then he can arrange a union for you as a father would, but you are a part of his Clan now, whether you like it or not.” He added as he lit the pipe and took a deep inhale.

“So that's why Thorin is so growly.” I deadpanned. Gandalf choked, coughing rather loudly, smoke billowing from his mouth as he fought to catch his breath. 

“Thorin?” Gandalf finally sputters.

“Yeah, he's the one I landed on.” I said with a shrug. “The one that left a bruise the size of my grandmother's favorite platter on my back.” The wizard was gaping at me. “Seriously, Elder, its a blooming miracle I didn't snap my spine in half, and can walk under my own power...though not as fast as usual.” 

“Surely your injuries have been tended!” Gandalf snapped, glaring at Oin. I snorted.

“The only tending I acquired was a pack full of stones as punishment for a transgression I had no control over.” I said with a snicker, I found the old man's reaction thoroughly entertaining. The wizard's face was drawn and pinched, like he couldn't decide if he believed his ears or not. “I'm still wearing the same clothing I had on during the incident, they still carries the dampness, the fabric not suited for swimming and takes ages to dry.”

“That's enough!” Thorin snapped, and I turned to glare at him. “You will remove the stones from your bag and then you will sit with me.” 

I quirked an eyebrow and clenched my fists. “No.” I deadpanned, shaking my head as the company stiffened. “I will do neither, Thorin Oakenshield. The stones in my pack will stay where they are, until the rage within has cooled enough that I may touch them without Hurling them at someone's head.” Bilbo snorted behind me and I rolled my eyes elbowing his shoulder gently. “To my line, they represent one of the gravest insults,” My eyes flash to Gandalf. “To be mistaken as MALE.” 

“With all due respect, who names their daughter Drake?” Dori asked, tilting his head. I roll my eyes and groan.

“Drake is the name of my House, Master Dori!” I snap, glaring at the Tailor. “My family crest is a Dragon! I assumed Drake suited better in this Company than Dragondottr!”


	2. Of Trades and Tokens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo comes up with a compromise that puts everyone at ease while Thorin gets cuddly....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit of a rush job, I'll try to post the next part soon.

I sat by the fire, my pack sitting at my feet, as the company hurriedly set up camp. Dori sat across from me, sewing furiously, as if the thought of me spending the night in my torn clothes was too much for him. Fili and Kili were still trying to coax me into taking the stones out of my pack, but until I heard an actual apology from the group for their unfair treatment, they were staying right there. The princes made a last ditch effort to swipe the pack away from me and I scooped it up onto my lap and smacked the two on their arms with my spoon. 

“Stop it you two, or I swear I will sleep on it!” I snapped, shooting them a glare that would do my mother proud. Twin looks of utter horror crossed their faces as Thorin chuckled behind me. The two scurried off to sit with Balin and I turned to glare at my 'Husband' much to the hard headed oaf's amusement. 

“I never thought a woman other their mother would ever be able to do that.” He rumbled as he sat down next to me on my log. 

I snort and shake my head. “I learned from the best... Though Ma would have been able to send them running with JUST the glare.” Thorin quirked an eyebrow as I grinned. 

“Still, you shouldn't make a habit of striking the crown prince, others of our kingdom would not tollerate it.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. “At least not until your crowned.” He added in a whisper, his breath tickling my neck. I nudged him hard in the ribs with my elbow.

“Back off, your still in the dog house along with everyone else.” I growled, glaring at him. His eyebrow raises slightly as Bilbo snorts in amusement, taking his place on my other side. 

“Yet another strange saying, Miss Drake.” Bilbo chastizes. He holds out his hand as I turn to him. Thorin still holding me, though his grip has loosened. “I take it that it means he's in serious trouble?” he adds as he opens his hand. A small smooth stone sits in his palm. I tilt my head as I eye the pretty pink quartz stone. 

“Yeah, what's this for?” I ask, nodding to the stone.

“An alternative.” He whispered, offering the small stone to me. “I thought we could replace the big stones for little ones, a lighter load, but still there.” I snorted, leaning into Thorin. 

“Back home, we call that a comprimise, Bilbo.” I crossed my arms and tapped the fingers of my left hand on my right arm as the Hobbit squirmed. “Very well, Bilbo.” I whispered, taking the rock from his hand. “The Company may trade small pretty rocks for their large stones....” The group relaxed a bit and Fili and Kili jumped to their feet. “ON the condition!” I added and the two princes froze. “That they carry the burden themselves.” Bilbo looked at me with a frown. “I don't want them thrown away, and this one will be added to the collection.” 

Thorin chuckled at my back and I jumped in surprise at how close we were. “I think that's acceptable.” He whispered, and I elbowed him again. 

“I thought I told you to back off, Oak.” I growled, turning to glare at him. 

“Yes, and I did.” He deadpanned. 

I rolled my eyes and nudged him harder. “Two inches is not backing off, Thorin Oakenshield!” 

Dwalin walked up with a frown and shook his head at me. “He's not usually so cuddly Drake, you should enjoy it while it lasts.” The old warrior grumbled as he held out his hand. He held a small white stone was resting in his palm, smoothed and shiny, flecked with black and pink. “This pretty enough fer ye?” He asked and I grinned as I opened my bag and reached in, grabbing a rock. “Mine was the heaviest.” He added, and I eyed him. He frowned as I pulled out the largest rock I could find and held it out to him. 

Thorin tightened his grip on me as I swapped stones with Dwalin, his grip becoming a vice as my fingers brushed the old warrior's briefly. “Ack, OAK! Too tight!” He growled in my ear and I turned to glare at him. “Seriously, your going to pop something!” His grip loosened but not enough. “Thorin...” I growled, pushing myself back into him. He took a deep breath and I sighed as his grip loosened till I could wiggle out of his grasp if I chose. I held still, not wanting him to increase his grip again. He hummed in my ear as he laid his chin on my shoulder, his hand rubbing my stomach gently. 

I met Dwalin's eyes and frowned. “I think perhaps the trading should be done through Bilbo.” I whispered, placing my hand over the hand on my belly. Dwalin nodded and turned away, walking over to his brother. 

Soon, Nori and Ori walked up to Bilbo, who chuckled at the sight of two smooth milky quartz, about the size of chestnuts. I nodded when Bilbo turned to me and I reached into my bag, I grabbed a couple rocks and placed them next to me, Bilbo picked them both up one at a time and held them out to the two brothers, I nodded in approval as Bilbo handed Ori the lighter of the two. Nori grinned at me and winked, much to Thorin's irritation. Yeah, I was totally going to Bro Zone those two, if I could convince Dori to let me. I felt a twinge of loneliness as I thought of my own brothers back home. 

Bilbo handed me the two quartz, and I added them to his and Dwalin's, snorting in amusement as Thorin grumbled under his breath in his native tongue. I rolled my eyes as Nori chuckled, leaning back until my head rested on his shoulder. Fili and Kili came up next and I groaned at the sight of the muddy pebbles in their hands. 

“I said pretty stones, not muddy!” I hissed, twining my fingers with Thorin's as he tensed behind me. “Clean them up and let Bilbo decide if they're pretty enough to add to my pile of treasure.” Bilbo chuckled and I glared. 

“So Dragondottr will be carrying her hoard?” The Hobbit asked with a cheshire grin that looked kinda creepy on him. 

I snorted in amusement and rolled my eyes. “It's Drake, and yes, I fully intend to treasure these little stones as tokens that represent members of my new family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you like it! I'm sorry its a bit short. If i have to, I'll rewrite it later!


	3. Who are you calling Princess? Welcome to the Drake Clan.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drake claims the Ri brothers as her family, Bilbo gets embarrassed, Kili gets his rock and Thorin's clingy behavior reaches a new high before leveling out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure what to title this chapter, if you have any suggestions for a better chapter 3 title I'm all ears.

Thorin had held onto me nearly the whole night, only letting go of me when good manners required, I certainly wasn't going to let him shadow me as I relieved myself, since going potty in the wilds of Middle Earth was a traumatizing experience in itself. Seriously guys, ever heard of LEAVES?! I kept my hands as clean as possible, by morning, even Dwalin was taking time to wash his hands with hot water from the kettle. Apparently, the Dwarves had never heard of germs before, but when a Queen does something like washing her hands after relieving herself or dirtying her hands some other way, they seem to think its probably best to imitate her, to appease her, if nothing else. 

I shift as I realize I am gloriously alone on my sleeping mat, I had dozed off in Thorin's embrace the night before, from sheer emotional exhaustion. I frown as I sit up, Ori is lying to my right, a foot of space between us, while Nori sits on my left, whittling at a small chunk of wood. 

“Good Morning Princess.” Nori greeted with a grin. 

I scowled at the nickname, and glare at the Thief. “Good Morning, Uncle.” The camp went still as I rolled my shoulders one at a time. I looked over at Ori, who was starting to wake, and smirked, reaching over and cuffed his shoulder gently. “Time to rise, Brother, I think Da has made Tea.” 

“Da?” Bilbo asked as he walked up with an armload of cloth. 

“Yeah, Da.” I nodded. “I take it he's behind the wardrobe in your arms?” 

Bilbo quirked an eyebrow and looked down at the bundle that I assumed was new clothes from Dori. “Dori asked me to give them to you. He's just brewing a pot of Tea while Bombur works on breakfast.” 

“Alright, let me see what Da has made.” I grumbled with a yawn, slowly rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “Uncle, let Bilbo sit.” I added, nudging Nori's leg with my elbow. 

“Why are you calling him Uncle?” Thorin growled from his place at the fire where he was peeling potatoes. 

“It was either place him in my family Hierarchy or try to throttle him for calling me Princess.” I grumbled with a shrug. 

“And yet you called Ori, Brother?” Fili chimed in.

“And who is Da?” Kili added as he walked up with a small pouch clamped on his hand. He held it out to me, a small blue-gray stone resting on top of it.

“Dori...” I replied as I accepted the pouch and stone, nodding in approval, I reached for my pack and pulled out one of the large stones. I passed it to the young prince, before slipping the little stone he gave me into the pouch and adding the five I already had to it as well. Dori had given me a white quartz pebble to match his brothers' the night before, just as I was getting settled down to sleep. The exchange happened as he presented me with a pair of breeches and a clean tunic that had been altered to fit me. “Back home, only my Uncle was ever allowed to call me Princess. It's not a name I like.” I added, shrugging. “And as for Da, I figured Ma would be inappropriate, even if he's been fussing over me like a mother hen, and since he fusses over Ori the same way, calling Ori, Brother suits.” I explained, jabbing a thumb in Ori's direction. 

Bilbo chuckled. “You baffle me sometimes Miss Drake.” He said with a shake of his head. 

“I try.” I replied with a grin. “Now, are you going to give me my clothes or am I going to walk around bare as a new born all day?” Bilbo blushed deep crimson and nearly dropped the bundle on the ground. I burst out laughing at the sight as Thorin let loose a growl that a grizzly bear would be proud of. 

Ori let out a squeak of fear as the King Under the Mountain stormed up to me, and my laughter died on my lips as my protective instinct kicked in and my self preservation kicked back, put its feet up and prepared to watch the show. I sprung to my feet, flipping up like Jackie Chan, and spread my feet apart. I'd of been celebrating the accomplishment, that I probably would never be able to replicate, if not for the angry 'Husband' glaring daggers at me. 

I rolled my eyes dramatically and grinned at him. “Relax Thorin, I was kidding! Jeez! Loosen up a bit, your wound tighter than Kili's bow!” I took the bundle from Bilbo while keeping my eye on Thorin, nodding my thanks to the still blushing Hobbit, and move to brush my shoulder to Thorin's as I move toward the trees. He grumbled as he followed, trailing behind me like a lost puppy. “I don't need any help changing Thorin.” I grumbled as I reached the tree line that led to the small sheltered area I had changed in the night before.

“But you'll get it anyway.” He growled lowly.

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “Oh really? Gonna pin me to a tree too?” I snapped.

He glared and crossed his arms. “I'm not letting you leave the camp alone, Amrâlimê.” I smile as Kili whispers something to Nori and Fili, causing Nori to snort out his tea, which earned him a cuff upside the head from Fili, as the Crown Prince fights to keep a straight face.

“I heard that!” I call, even though I hadn't, but I could guess. Three horrified expressions turn my way, as Thorin turns to glare and Nori has the decency to blush along with our nephews. I smack Thorin's shoulder as he moves to step in their direction. “Come on Oak, you can keep a look out while I change and then we can talk.” 

“Yeah, I take Dams into the woods to talk all the time.” Dwalin grumbled with a roll of his eyes. Dori glared at the old warrior as Nori shook his head and tossed a rock at the shiny dome of the older Dwarf. 

I grabbed Thorin's hand and pulled him away from the camp. Leading him to my little changing nook, a large glacier rock with three trees growing in front of it in a perfect triangle, I had closed off two sides with brush to give some privacy. I gasp as he pushes me against the mossy surface of the boulder, the bundle of clothes is swiped from my hands and deposited on a bare slab of rock as he pins me, pressing his body flush with mine. He's tense, wound so tight that he reminds me of a Panther, poised to pounce. His blue eyes bore into my hazel browns as his hands bury in my hair. I brace myself for his next move, but he just stares at me, eyes blown and body rigid against me. 

“Thorin?” I whispered, eyeing him warily. 

“Mmm?” He hums in reply, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to my chin. 

“Are you going to let me change?” I breath, and he tenses further, letting out a growl. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and hug him, nuzzling my nose into his neck. My self preservation still enjoying the show somewhere in the back of my mind. He sighs and relaxes as I return the physical affection. Pulling me away from the hard surface of the boulder, he wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss to my forehead. 

“Of course, Amrâlimê.” He rumbles, giving me a gentle squeeze before releasing me and turning around to stand in the opening of my little changing nook. I changed as quickly as possible, while keeping an eye on him. He didn't look my way once, and I wasn't sure whether I should be disappointed after his forward behavior, or pleased that he was behaving and I wouldn't have to smack him. 

The new outfit was a longer tunic that hung down to my mid-thigh over baggy breeches, I snickered at Thorin's glare when he saw what Dori had made for me. I noticed his tense shoulders and angry expression and grabbed his left hand in my right.

“Well, I'm liking this new style.” I said, striking a pose. “I think I may stick with this outside of Formal Events, what do you think?” He looked like a deer caught in the headlights as he struggled to find the right words to voice his feelings about my new wardrobe while sparing mine. “Its comfortable, not too tight on my sore back, loose enough that I don't feel like I'm wearing a skin suit but not so baggy I risk getting tangled up and hurt.” I stuck my leg out, showing that the breeches were somewhat short. “He even made them short enough that I shouldn't catch my feet in the baggy legs. I can't remember how many times I've ended up on my face tripping over the legs of my pants back home!” 

He sighed and shook his head, pulling me into his chest. “I'm glad you like it, Amrâlimê.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Come, let's sit. We have much to discuss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! Hope you enjoyed Chapter Three! Up next Thorin and Drake talk about Dwarven and Earth customs and she lays a few ground rules of her own!


	4. Proposals and Braids and Orcs, oh my!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin proposes in an unconventional way and Drake gets her first look at the dangers of Middle Earth

Thorin sat down on a smaller boulder within my changing nook and motioned for me to join him. I frowned as I sat and was immediately scooped up into his arms and placed on his lap. His hands moving to card through my hair. He hummed in what I assumed was approval as he separated three strands at my temple and started to braid it.

“Tell me, Amrâlimê, what you know of my people's customs?” He rumbled, as he wove my long brown hair into a simple braid.

I smirked and leaned into him. “Not much, other than the fact that what your doing now is considered intimate. Only to be done by a husband with his wife.”

“One.” He corrected with a chuckle. “We're not officially married yet, you are my One, not my wife.”

I turned to him with a frown and crossed my arms. “They better be one in the same, Thorin. I have no intention of being anyone's Mistress.”

He chuckled and nodded. “Perhaps I should explain that better.” I quirked an eyebrow and gave him my best 'Oh you think so?' look.

He took my hand in his and twined our fingers together. “In my culture, it is believed that everyone is only a half of a whole, we spend most of our life waiting for our other halves, some wait years, others die searching, few, few give up on the notion entirely and resign themselves to live their lives incomplete and die alone.”

“There is a similar concept back home, though its more a fanciful notion reserved for romance novels and fairy tales.” I whispered, my thumb stroking his hand. “In my world, they're called Soulmates.”

He nodded and squeezed my hand and I gasped as his other hand trailed down my spine. “I was the latter,” He continued. “I had given up, stopped searching the day my homeland fell, and stopped waiting for you to find me when I started my journey to reclaim my kingdom.”

“Me?” I breathed, eyes widened in disbelief. “I'm your Soulmate?” I exclaimed, my voice shrill in my surprise.

“Indeed. Imagine my distress when I found that not only had Mahal dropped my One on my head as I bathed, but had given me a human man.” He deadpanned and I smacked his chest much to his amusement. He chuckled deep in his chest. “I must apologize, I've skipped a few steps in our courtship, in my efforts to right the wrongs of my company.” He tugged on the now complete braid gently. “I should of asked for your hand before braiding your betrothal braid.”

“Duh!” I replied with a roll of my eyes, not that I could find it in me to be mad, its not like he led me back to camp without telling me what the braid was for only to sit back and enjoy my confusion as the company congratulated me. “Does this mean I get to curl up with you tonight?” I asked with a smirk. He visibly relaxed and exhaled with a chuckle, giving me a small smile as he nodded. “Good, because I am not letting you off the hook that easy, from now on, you sir, are my personal Teddy Bear.”

He laughed and grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at me slightly. “As you wish.” He rumbled and I shivered, not from the cold. His expression turned to worry and he pulled me closer, rubbing his hands over my arms. “Are you cold?”

I giggled and shook my head. “No, I'm fine.”

“But your shivering.” He insisted as he moved to take off his coat.

“I'm FINE Oak, just, don't use that phrase again when were not home behind closed doors and we'll be good.” He tilted his head in confusion as he slung his coat around my shoulders.

“What is wrong with As You Wish?” He grumbled.

“It means something different back home.” I replied, not really up for trying to explain the plot of The Princess Bride to him, since I only ever watched the movie.

“And what exactly does it mean?”

“I love you.” I whispered and he froze, his eyes widened. “It means I Love You,” I shifted uncomfortably and met his wide eyes. “And when you say it like you did, it makes it hard to not return the sentiment.” I shook my head with a sigh. “So, please don't use it, not around the others until you actually mean it and won't be irate when I say it back in the Queen's English.” I reached up and tugged on a strand of his hair. “Now, Oak, am I permitted to give you a braid as well? Or is that not done?”

We walked back into camp some time later, Thorin's hair now sporting a thin braid at his left temple, matching mine, tied with a small strip of leather. The camp was silent for a moment, and I frowned as I noticed that they had already packed up the camp before I even had breakfast.

“What's going on, Da?” I asked as Dori hurried up to me with a coat in his hands.

“Orcs to the east, Princess.” Nori chimed in. “We need to get you out of here fast.”

“Orcs?” Thorin demanded, his arm wrapping around my waist tightly.

“Dang it Thorin! Stop squeezing me!” I chided. He let go only to grab my hand and pull me toward the middle of the group. “Why do you need to get me out of here fast?”

“You don't want to know what an Orc would do to you if he got his claws in you.” Nori growled as he moved to my other side. “It wouldn't be pretty.”

“We need to get her home.” Ori squeaked from next to Fili and Kili. “She needs to be with the other Dams.”

I snorted and shook my head as Thorin growled at my adopted brother. “Not likely.” I deadpanned. “I'd rather eat the rocks in my bag than be stored away like a trophy.” I growled. “Either give me a weapon and let me stay, or get the hell out of my way and watch me find my own.”

Dwalin snorted from his place at the back of the pack. “I like this lass more and more.” He clapped Thorin on the shoulder. “If you don't marry this one, I bloody well will!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys this is the first chapter posted from my phone! So if it's messy, I apologise! Hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Of Hatchets and Fasting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drake arms herself and shows the company she may be human but she has the stubbornness of Dwarves

I watched as Thorin bristled at Dwalin's words, and grinned. “I'm afraid you couldn't handle me, Master Dwalin, I'm much too wild.” 

Nori chuckled at that and nudged my shoulder, “Well Princess? What's your weapon of choice?” 

I looked around, Dwalin stood next to Thorin with an ax clasped in his hand, Fili held a couple of daggers, Kili had his bow drawn, others had swords and clubs, Ori had a sling shot, and I grinned when I met his eyes. My adopted brother's eyes widened and he shook his head. I nodded and turned to Nori. “Might I borrow a hatchet?” 

“A Hatchet??” Dwalin growled.

“Aye, I wish to cut myself a sturdy sapling for my weapon.” I replied. “Best to stick with the fighting style I know.” 

“We need te get going, ain't no time to carve a weapon!” Dwalin barked. 

“Don't you take that tone with me, young man!” I snapped, pointing my finger at him. “I'm proficient in several weapon styles, but have mastered only two, tomahawk and bow staff.”

“What in the world is a tomahawk?” Dwalin demanded as Nori handed me the small ax that Bombur had been carrying with his cooking equipment. 

“A tomahawk is a small hatchet used by the Native American people!” I snapped taking the ax, I hefted it in my hand, testing its weight. “Good balance, not too heavy, not too light.” I slipped it from its sheath and stepped away from Thorin. “Lets see...” I looked around and picked a large tree several meters away. Raising the ax, I aimed in a split second and let it fly, the hatched sailed through the air and lodged in the trunk dead center at head height. 

“WOW!” My nephews both gaped as I stormed over to the tree and yanked the hatchet from the trunk with a mighty heave. 

“Now, lets get going.” I growled. “I hope you saved me something for breakfast Pops.” I nodded to Bombur and held up the ax. “I'll take good care of this.” 

“Pops?” Thorin asked, looking from me to Bombur and back. 

“Problem?” I growled, spinning the hatchet deftly in my right hand. Thorin frowned but shook his head. “Good. Now, lets go, and I hope you made doubly sure the fire was properly extinguished, I don't fancy trying to outrun a forest fire.” I turned to Nori and nodded. “Lead the way, Uncle.” 

“As you wish, Princess.” Nori said with a smirk, turning away as Thorin growled. I rolled my eyes and sighed. It seemed I was going to have to tell the story of the Princess Bride at some point after all. 

We traversed the deciduous forest slowly, my hatchet in its sheath strapped to the outside of my left thigh. 

“Why do you have it there lassy?” Dwalin asked. “It seems such a hassle to have to pass it to your other hand.”

“Who said anything about passing it?” I demanded. “I'm left handed.” I waved my fingers at him. “As are my Ma and younger brother.” I frowned as the group murmured in surprise at the mention of my family back home. “And that is ALL I will say of them.” I added as I followed Thorin through the woods. 

Bombur ambled up and held out a brown cloth bundle to me. “Yer breakfast Lassie, hope ye can chew and walk at the same time.” 

“Aye, as long as it doesn't require both hands to do so.” I nodded, taking the bundle. “My Thanks Pops.” I nodded, and the red haired chef smiled. “Has Oak eaten yet?” I nodded in my 'Husband's' direction. 

“Nay, he wouldn't take his.” Bombur replied. I held out my hand and he chuckled, handing me a second small bundle. “Good luck, Lassie.” 

“Don't need luck, I learned from the best and they taught me well.” I replied with a grin, increasing my stride until I was walking abreast with Thorin and Balin. The old dwarf noticed me first and smiled kindly as he nodded. Thorin turned to me with a raised eyebrow, and looked back at Dwalin, who was talking with Bombur.

“Amrâlimé?” He rumbled, his brow raised in question. I held out the bundle from Bombur.

“Join me?” I whispered, smiling softly. Thorin shook his head and frowned. 

“I'll eat when we're safe.” He rumbled, I sighed and nodded, turning away, I walked over to Bombur and passed him both bundles. Dwalin frowned from his place next to him and I smiled at the confused cook.

“In my Clan, a woman eats when her Mate has been fed, unless she has young to feed.” I whispered, shaking my head at Dwalin's growl. “Since I do not, I will eat only when he has.” I moved toward the back of the group to where Bilbo and Ori where walking with Nori and Dori. 

“You should eat, Princess.” Nori scolded. “You won't be much use weak with hunger.” 

I shook my head and frowned. “I will, when my Mate has eaten, if the Alpha is to fast, then so must I, it is the way of my Clan.” 

“But you...” Bilbo's words died on his lips, and I frowned, looking at the Hobbit. I motioned for him to continue, nodding. “You two aren't really married are you?” Dori and Ori stiffened and Nori chuckled. 

“Not in a way that leads to family.” I whispered. “But according to their customs, yes, we are.” I looked at Nori, who nodded in acknowledgment. “It doesn't matter that we weren't wed according to the customs of my people. What matters is we are bound together, he is my Mate, whether we have actually Mated or not.” I paused at Bilbo's blush and smiled, patting his shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, if it weren't for the threat of Orcs or the fact that he doesn't consider the group relatively safe yet, I would of insisted he eat, even if I risked a roaring match. Food is fuel, and the first meal is the most important meal of the day.” The Hobbit nodded, he knew damn well how important food was as all good hobbits do. 

“Is there another reason you gave your serving back?” Nori asked with a small smirk.

I felt my face heat up and frowned. “What do you think, Uncle?” 

“I think its because you believe it would reflect badly if the Queen ate when the King would not.” He whispered lowly. I barked a laugh and shook my head.

“Nay, I offered my Mate a chance to eat with me, he refused, end of story.” I said with a shrug. “While it doesn't really count as a rejection since I didn't prepare the food myself, I find myself unable to bring myself to indulge.” 

“I'd hardly call feeding yourself an indulgence!” Dori squeaked. 

“Back home it would be the equivalent of accepting his refusal and dismissing him as a potential suitor.” I said with a wave of my hand. 

“Your Clan has some very strange customs.” Bilbo groaned. I rolled my eyes. 

“You don't know the half of it.” I groaned. “Back home, I'm not even considered a suitable candidate for mating.” 

“Why the bloody hell not?” Nori growled.

“Oh, I'm too stubborn, that and most men back home don't like having an overweight, unattractive women who can wipe the floor with them in the training ring.” I explained, tilting my head until my neck popped. “Now, I haven't seen any saplings on this trek yet, I need one at least three fingers thick... I looked at Bilbo's hand and Nori's. “Well three of my fingers.” I added, holding up my hand with my index, middle and ring finger held together. “I can't make a proper staff if its too thick, and too thin and it'll snap on the first head I bash.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally have no idea where this is in either the book or the movie script... so I'm just going to let Bombur use both to start tonight's fire with and wing it! Die hard Canon Fans turn back now!


	6. Of First Kills And New Skills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drake makes her first kill and gains some new weapons. Thorin finally eats and she gets to show up Kili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY this took so long, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I'll try to update again within the next week!

I hurried after Bilbo and Ori, the sound of fighting following us as we scurried, my new bow staff that I had carved from a oak sapling Nori had found for me after my revelation that my people found me to be unsuitable as a mate, grasped in my left hand. All the dwarves had been offended at that, apparently in Dwarven culture a woman who wasn't afraid to defend herself and wasn't afraid to eat was prized above all others. Apparently, raising spoiled princesses were considered disgraceful and the females unattractive.

I dodged to the side as an arrow flew by my head and lodged in a tree. “Fudge munch!” I spat, Ori looked back at me as I righted myself and picking up my pace. “Run Brothers, don't look back! Keep running! Keep running!” Catching up, I grabbed onto Bilbo's left hand with my right.

I ran between the two of them, dragging Bilbo after me. We ducked behind a large glacier rock, stopping to catch our breath. Ori was barely panting, Bilbo wasn't as winded as I, and I glared at the two men I had claimed as brothers. “You. Guys. Suck!” I leaned back against the rock, letting the coolness seep into my aching body. “Seems I... Need to... get in shape....” My staff swung hard, slamming into the face of the orc that jumped out at us from where we came from. The creature crumbled with a sickening crunch as its unprotected skull caved in under the blow. Both males gaped at me as I grimaced at the black sludge now staining my pretty staff. “Fudge munch! This thing is brand new! I haven't even had a chance to treat it yet and now its stained!” I glared down at the bleeding orc and growled. The thing had a blade strapped to its hip that was clearly not of orc craft and I leaned down and ripped it off his belt.

By the time Thorin and the others caught up, I had taken the orc's weapons, the elven sword, a dagger and an elven short bow and found a pouch on his belt that contained a couple dozen coins and a few uncut gems, Emeralds, rubies and sapphires from what I could tell, not that I was too sure. The crown jewel in my opinion was a pair of Topaz the size of half dollars.

“What have you got there, Amrâlimê?” Thorin asked, as I glared down at the orc corpse.

“Loot.” I replied, grinning.

“Lady Drake killed that orc with one blow from her staff.” Ori explained excitedly.

“It was very impressive.” Bilbo nodded. “Did you want the arrows, Lady Drake?” He asked me, holding up the elven quiver that held a mix of orc and elven arrows. I accepted the quiver and grinned at Thorin's scowl.

“I'll practice with these later, and Kili can show me how to make more later.” I said with a grin. “Its been a long time since I've used a bow,” I pulled at the string and smiled. “This one is a lot stronger than my brother's hunting bow, but I'm not in the same shape I was when my brother and I used to take turns practicing with the black composite hunting bow when we were children.” I paused when I met Bilbo's wide eyes. “We used blunted practice arrows, they wouldn't puncture anything more solid than the padded targets made of burlap and sawdust.” Bilbo nodded, as if that made perfect sense. I met the eyes of my dwarven husband, smiling as I slung the quiver and bow over my shoulder. “Can we go now? I'd like to get away from that before everything catches up to me.” I added, pointing to the dead orc.

“Catches up?” Thorin whispered, his brow raised in confusion.

“Surely this is not your first kill!” Dori squeaked. I grinned and I nodded.

“Yeah, Da, it is.” I shrugged at the gaping dwarves.

“Come, lets us go.” Thorin nodded. I let him wrap his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him, and leading me back the way we came. I grinned as Bofur and Nori pressed up to me and I grinned as Fili and Kili pressed up to Thorin, trapping the two of us between the four of them. They badgered me with questions of how I killed the orc with one hit.

“No idea.” I deadpanned. Grinning as they all gaped at me. “My body moved on its own. Now that I think about it, I'm surprised I didn't hurt myself with the force of the impact.” I grumbled, flexing my hand. “Thank god I didn't, it would suck if I'd injured my main hand.”

We walked for most of the day, we made camp in a clearing bordered by what looked like apple trees. A large oak tree stood in the center, Gandalf was lounging against it, smoking his pipe and I grinned as I plopped down next to him as Thorin watched the others set up camp.

“I see you've obtained some new equipment.” The wizard whispered, holding his pipe out to me. I shook my head and waved the pipe away.

“No thank you, Grandfather.” I whispered. “I don't intend to take up smoking again anytime soon. I could barely breath after running from orcs today.”

“Orcs? Is that where Thorin got you your new equipment.” Gandalf asked.

“Actually, this loot is from my own kill Gandalf.” I replied, giving him a glare. “Stupid orc stained my new bow staff!” I growled, propping the staff against my shoulder. “Its weird, I lashed out at it without any conscious thought. I'm not sure how the heck I did what I did.” I met the old wizard's eyes, frowning. “You know, I've wanted to talk to you...” I started.

“I had a feeling you were ready to do so.” He said with a chuckle. “Go ahead, Child.”

I grinned, nudging him with my elbow. “Only you can get away with calling me that, Grandfather.” I snickered as he let out a breathy chuckle. “So, I've noticed that my body isn't exactly working like it did before I fell into Middle Earth. I'm a little bummed that I've not gained any special abilities.”

“How do you know? Have you ever tried to do anything?” The wizard asked.

I paused and frowned, shaking my head, I shrugged. “No, I haven't had the chance really.” I grinned and nodded to Bombur who was waving at me. “I'll talk to the boys about trying after dinner.” I motioned to Fili and Kili who stood with Ori, Nori, Bofur and Bilbo. “I'm supposed to help Bombur cook. I'm hoping to get Thorin to eat with me.”

“Why?” Gandalf asked.

“Stubborn Dwarf insists he won't eat until we're safe, and in accordance with my family's customs, I'm not allowed to eat without him, since I am not a mother or expecting.” I replied with a grumble. “I haven't eaten anything since falling into Middle Earth.” Gandalf stiffened and nodded, shooing me away.

“Go help Bombur, I shall speak with your Stubborn Mate.” He grumbled, and I smiled and nodded.

I helped Bombur cook that night, fighting my hunger as I chopped and diced veggies and cut up boar meat for the stew. I smiled as I filled bowls of stew for the others. I looked up as I filled three bowls. Looking up, I met Gandalf's eyes from where he stood next to Thorin, he nodded and I smiled, standing with three bowls, Bilbo stood on the other side of Gandalf. I gave a bowl to Bilbo, one to Gandalf and held the last out to Thorin. He took it with a nod of thanks.

“Go get yourself a bowl, Amrâlimê.” Thorin murmured before taking a bite from the bowl. I smiled and turned away, not missing the pink dusting Thorin's cheeks. Bilbo snickered next to Gandalf and the old wizard chuckled.

I sat next to Thorin with a steaming bowl of stew, and hummed as I took my first bite of food in Middle Earth. I had never had wild Boar before, and hummed at the flavor combined with the red potatoes, onion and carrot like root vegetables. I forced myself to go slow, after days without food, I wasn't going to risk making myself sick. Bombur tried to fill my bowl to the brim and I had to insist on less, stating that I had gone too long without and my stomach had to grow accustomed to solid food. After we had eaten, I helped Bilbo wash the dishes, much to Thorin's annoyance. I think he wanted me to himself after dinner.

“Shouldn't you be curling up with Thorin?” Bilbo asked with a small smile.

“Naw, its not cuddle time yet. He can deal with the boys while I pull my weight.” I replied, handing him another dish to dry.

“You are the future wife of the King, there is no need to pull your weight.” Dori scolded walking up with a stack of dishes.

“I am still a Drake, Da, and no matter my rank, I will make myself useful.” I chastised.

“Still, you shouldn't be doing dishes, Child.” Gandalf added, walking up behind Dori. “Those who help with cooking, do not wash dishes.” He took the rag from my hand and shooed me away. “Go, Kili is waiting for you, something about fletching and archery lessons before Thorin bursts a blood vessel, I'll finish up here.”

“Oh, right!” I nodded, letting him take my place next to Bilbo. “Thanks Gramps!” I walked over to where Thorin stood with Fili and Kili, and the younger nephew grinned at me. My bow and quiver in his hands. He held them out to me and I grinned, accepting them.

“I set up some targets, a couple of dead logs there.” Fili said with a smile, pointing to a large bolder that sat on the border of the clearing.

“Lets see what you can do, Auntie.” Kili said with a grin. “I need to see your technique before I can instruct you.” I nodded, and walked in the direction of the targets, stopping at a distance of twenty paces, I pulled an arrow from the quiver, holding the bow in my right hand, I notched the arrow and pulled it back, with only a glance, I let the arrow fly. With a resounding thunk the arrow lodged dead center in the first log. Smirking, I notched arrow after arrow, letting them fly. Each one lodging in the log in a tight cluster, making a circle around the first arrow. With a grin, I turned to meet the shocked faces of Thorin and his nephews. “What?” I asked.

“That was...AMAZING!” Kili yelled. “How?”

“Honestly, I have no idea.” I said with a shrug. “I was never that good back home, perhaps I'm unlocking new abilities since falling into Middle Earth?” I added, tilting my head. “So, do you have anything to add to my technique?”

Kili shook his head. “I've never seen anyone hold their bow in that hand, but with aim like that, I don't see anything wrong with it.” I nodded and turned back and walked over to log to collect my arrows. “No need to do that, Auntie!”

I frowned and turned to him. “I am not wasting practice arrows, Kili.” I scolded. “I may have good aim, but I'm not used to the physical strain of using a bow, and need to build up my muscles.” I pulled my arrows from the log and slipped them into my quiver. “And until I can make my own arrows, I will not waste my ammo just because they're orc and elven.”

Thorin frowned and I grinned, walking over to Thorin, I leaned into him, letting him wrap his arms around me and pull me closer. “As you wish, Amrâlimê.” He growled into my ear. I shivered at that and groaned, burying my nose in his neck as he chuckled. “I think its time we retire for the night, we'll reach our destination in a couple days.”

I looked up and frowned. “Where exactly are we going?” I asked.

“We head for the Shire, we're escorting Bilbo home.” Fili explained. “It's been nearly a year since we reclaimed Erebor. He had to spend the winter with us since we were too injured to leave the city.”

“Wait, Erebor has already been reclaimed?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at Thorin.

“Why, yes. Didn't Uncle tell you that?” Fili asked.

“No, no he did not.” I replied.

“Yeah, he's even been crowned King Under The Mountain.” Kili chimed in.

“So, we're leaving Bilbo in the Shire?” I asked. “Wait, if you've been crowned King Under The Mountain, why did you leave Erebor and are traveling with such a small group?” I asked.

“We left the majority of the escort behind in Lord Elrond's care, the village of Bree and Hobbiton don't need several hundred Dwarves tromping around.” Thorin explained. “But also, we wished to complete the journey with just our original party.” He held me closer and I sighed. “And I don't know what Bilbo is planning to do, but he wanted to return home, so we're taking him.”

“Oh,” I mumbled. I paused and sighed. “So are we just dropping him off and leaving immediately?” I asked.

“No, we planned to stay a while, we kinda raided his pantry at the beginning of our journey.” Fili answered. “We at least plan to help restock it, otherwise he may not survive the winter.”

I nodded as Thorin led me to the oak tree, the two princes following. “I guess that makes sense.” I mumbled. I felt a little disappointed that Bilbo would be leaving us so soon.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll continue this if you all like it.


End file.
